A few years ago, I was proud to be called a feminist. I had always been particularly vehement about fairness for all humans; especially for females living in largely patriarchal societies. Basic amenities and opportunities should be accessible to all, regardless of gender, age, size, race, faith (I don’t believe in religion), etc. No one dared treat a woman dismissively or objectify her around me; I’d launch a full force verbal attack against him/her. Yes, “her” because ironically, in patriarchal communities, even women are unkind to one another and themselves.
But now, call me a feminist and I suddenly begin to feel my skin crawl from pure disgust. Like almost everything else with my generation, the concept of feminism has been abused and bastardized. The essence of it has become lost in the pointless and futile battle of the sexes that erupt from all corners of human socialization by the minute.
Do I not believe in equality? I scoff! There can never be such a thing as equality between genders – the “its” don’t belong – because each gender was created with specific purposes in mind; they are supposed to supplement and complement each other so how does equality come in? How can two creations with different, physical, emotional and psychological make-up be compared? With what criteria will the measure of equality then be determined?
It’s like comparing apples and oranges; two completely different fruits that provide different nutrients and perform different functions in the body. The common factor they have is that they have the same goal: to fortify the human body. Still, they aren’t and can never be the same. Thus, they are not and can never be equal. In the same way, men and women will never be equal. NEVER! It then beats me why we keep going in cycles and circles, fighting fruitless fights.
We need to return our focus to the true concept of feminism: fairness! For instance, if Sussy has the required qualifications and field experience required for promotion but is passed up without fair examination, then that is grounds for a feminist fight.
Feminism is a fight for fairness and not a battle of the sexes; those two are not the same. Feminism would acknowledge that it is unfair that women in Saudi Arabia couldn’t drive themselves or sit in a stadium until recently. Feminism isn’t a battle about which gender should cook, throw out the trash or kick-start the generator.
When we leave consequential issues to fight over pots of soups, then we have degraded the core of this concept. Yes, in the family front, there should be mutual respect and love. Every couple is at liberty to define the dynamics of their relationship as opposed to the prescription of society – a society largely influenced by leaders and elders who experimented and made up laws as they went.
My fear is this: the more we pursue phantoms, the more the essence of the whole feminism movement and fight becomes mute. The goal is to secure fairness for the gender that suffers unfairness in every situation, and not turning a patriarchal society into a matriarchal one. Let us not become a bunch of confused liberals throwing wild punches in the air with the hope that it catches our opponent in the jaw.
There, I have finally said it! I’m not in my house, so don’t bother coming to beat me. However, feel free to argue in the comment section.